Episode #29: Joining Debra Sloss this month are licensed psychotherapist, educator, and intimacy specialist Melissa Fritchle, LMFT, 23 year old recent college graduate and research scientist Brynn Lowry, who began navigating a new relationship during the pandemic, and Adam Lanfear, also a recent college grad, soon to be yoga teacher, and who says he is “22 years young, single, and ready to mingle.” In this episode, we address how couples and singles are trying to meet their needs for connection and intimacy in the pandemic. We discuss how the pandemic and social distancing have made dating and intimacy hard and how they have pushed people together in new ways. We’ll explore various aspects of relationships in this unprecedented time. Our guests speak about sexuality as part of intimacy, and some of the language used may not be suited for all audiences. This is the second of a two-part series. Our last show (Ep. 28) focused on the impact of the pandemic on intimate relationships for older adults.
Special thanks to Jeanne Baldzikowski for audio production, to Jennifer Young for research and outreach and to Nyla Young for social media assistance. And finally, thanks to acoustic guitarist Adrian Legg for composing, performing, and donating the use of our theme music.
Brynn’s Recommended Resources
The New York Times Modern Love Podcast: The New York Times offers a podcast born out of their popular column which features real stories from people about modern love. It also features discussions between the host and story tellers which is both thought provoking and validating.
Lottie Murphy Pilates – Lottie provides yoga and Pilates videos at numerous levels of difficulty, it’s great to do with a partner or for curating some productive alone time.
Yoga with Adriene – Adriene’s videos focus more on emotional connections through yoga than usual YouTube yoga instructors. Her videos focus on breathing exercises and mantras which are meditative while also being accessible and humorous.
New York Times Daily Email Summary – Sign up for unlimited access to digital articles and opt for morning and weekly emails which give you the daily headlines as well as interesting opinion pieces.
Crooked Media podcasts – Funny and informational, crooked media offers an array of different podcasts which cover politics and pop culture in a variety of formats. My favorite is Lovett or Leave it where Obama’s former speechwriter Jon Lovett discusses the news of the week.
Adam’s Recommended Resources
Rupauls Drag Race – This show has taught me a lot about self-expression as well as how to love yourself and others.
Goop Podcast for all my self-care needs. Their first episode with Gwen Paltrow and Oprah is especially important to me.
Dollar Flow Yoga with Adam on Facebook – Adam posts live low-cost yoga sessions you can join and has started a community of yoga lovers here.
Three Ways to Improve Your Sex Life in Lockdown by Jessica Graham | February 11, 2021. Greater Good Magazine. An article about ways to bring the intimacy and spark back into your relationships.
The Art & Scient of Love Workshop – John and Julie Gottman’s Art & Science of Love couples workshop is available online for you and your partner to take together. Based on over 40 years of research with thousands of couples, The Art and Science of Love Online will give you new insights and research-based skills that can dramatically improve the intimacy and friendship in your relationship and help you manage conflict in a healthy, positive way.
Gottman Card Decks App – Download to explore 14 card decks with more than 1,000 flashcards, tap the star to favorite a card, easily tab back and forth between All and Favorites, shake your phone to see a random card, and access more free resources from The Gottman Institute.
The Conscious Sexual Self Workbook – by Melissa Fritchle (2014) – Written by an experienced sex therapist and educator, this book gives you accurate holistic information about sex and sexual relationships, but it also provides you with questions and exercises to help you explore your own sexual history, values, and desires.
Domestic Violence Resources
National Domestic Violence Hotline
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE
Walnut Avenue Family & Women’s Center – Services for Survivors of Domestic Violence including Shelter serving all of Santa Cruz County. 24-hour domestic violence hotline is fully operational for people experiencing domestic violence and for their allies: 1 (866) 269-2559.
Monarch Services / Servicios Monarca – Offers crisis intervention and prevention services in Spanish and English and are culturally sensitive. Has offices in both Santa Cruz & Watsonville, California.
24-Hour Crisis Line for Domestic Violence, Sexual Abuse and Human Trafficking 1 (888) 900-4232
Family Service Agency (FSA) of the Central Coast is a dedicated underwriter of State of Mind. FSA provides resources, support, and counseling services to adults and children. FSA believes in the power and potential of people of all ages and backgrounds to discover their own creative solutions and welcomes people of diverse cultures, genders, sexual orientations, ages, faiths, socio-economic backgrounds. FSA Counseling Offices offer Medi-Cal, Medicare, and low-cost, sliding scale services in both downtown Santa Cruz 831-423-9444 x200 and in Soquel 831-346-6767 x200.
Scotts Valley Counseling Center – Scotts Valley Counseling Center provides affordable counseling for couples, individuals, children and families.
Shine a Light Counseling Center – Shine a Light provides affordable counseling for couples, individuals, children, and families in English or Spanish in Santa Cruz and Monterey counties.