Episode 79: In this episode, we turn the mic over to guest host and State of Mind story-coach Patrice Vecchione for a powerful and heartfelt conversation about Aging with Resilience.
Inspired by her own experience of growing older—and especially by her resilient mother-in-law, Barbara Stark—Patrice explores what it truly means to age with strength, adaptability, and purpose.
Contrary to popular belief, aging doesn’t begin in our 60s or 70s. The choices we make throughout life shape how we’ll experience our later years. In this episode, you’ll hear intimate and uplifting stories from three remarkable elders—Barbara Stark, Alice Tao, and Elliot Ruchowitz-Roberts—who, well into their 80s and 90s, continue to live rich, engaged lives. They share reflections, hard-earned wisdom, and their personal secrets to aging well.
You’ll also hear from Ruth Nickens, a nurse and senior care specialist who draws on her four decades of experience to offer practical tools for navigating aging with greater ease and grace. This episode is a warm, wise, and deeply human invitation to rethink aging—not as a decline, but as a dynamic, evolving journey. No matter your age, the insights shared here can help you live—and age—with more intention, vitality, and joy.
Broadcasts: 6/1/25 & 6/10/25
Producer: Debra Sloss, LMFT
Guest Host: Patrice Vecchione
Guests: Ruth Nickens, Barbara Stark, Alice Tao, and Elliot Ruchowitz-Roberts
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🧠ABOUT STATE OF MIND
State of Mind is a mental health and wellness podcast and radio show hosted by psychotherapist Debra Sloss. Through intimate, story-rich conversations with guests and experts, we explore the complexity of being human and how to live well. Learn more at www.stateofmindmedia.org. Produced with support from KSQD Community Radio.
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🙏 SPECIAL THANKS
Audio Production: Youssef Hassanein, VJ Lukka
Volunteer Coordination: Youssef Hassanein
Story Coaching: Patrice Vecchione
Research: Katrina Tattenham, Heather Franks
Transcriptions: Ranton Hui, Roni Wong, Tanmayi Kademani
Marketing: Nimalan Elanchelvan
Graphic Design: Priscilla Yee
Data Management: Loan Tran
Theme Music: Adrian Legg & Favored Nations Entertainment
📚 ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Transcription
Read the full English transcript of this episode here:
English Transcription – Episode 79
Closed Captions
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Resource List
Local Resources
* Family Service Agency (FSA) of the Central Coast—A dedicated underwriter of State of Mind. FSA provides resources, support, and counseling services to adults and children. FSA offers a number of programs for older adults: Senior Outreach, specialized counseling services, Ageless Art, I-YOU Venture and more. FSA believes in the power and potential of people of all ages and backgrounds to discover their own creative solutions and welcomes people of diverse cultures, genders, sexual orientations, ages, faiths, socio-economic backgrounds. FSA Counseling Offices offer Medi-Cal, Medicare, and low-cost, sliding scale services in both downtown Santa Cruz 831-423-9444 x200 and in Soquel 831-346-6767 x200.
* Alliance on Aging — From transportation and healthcare to taxes and counseling, Alliance on Aging provide a wide range of programs and services to seniors, adult children, caregivers, and “baby boomers” who are approaching and preparing for their senior years. Offices in Salinas and Monterey and outreach efforts spanning all of Monterey County.
Books and Articles
The History of Love by Nicole Krauss, W.W. Norton & Co., (2005)—This book explores the powerful and enduring nature of love, often through the lens of resilience.
The Nine Pillars of Resilience: The Proven Path to Master Stress, Slow Aging, and Increase Vitality by Stephen I. Sideroff, PhD, Simon and Schuster (2024) —This book offers approaches for overcoming everyday challenges, presenting tools needed to help neutralize stress, build resilience, and live a balanced life.
Embracing Resilience: A New Perspective on Aging by: Regina Koepp PsyD, ABPP. Posted January 21, 2024—Discover the power of resilience to transform aging.
* Step into Nature: Nurturing Imagination and Spirit in Everyday Life, by Patrice Vecchione (2015)—A reflective exploration of how time in nature can support creativity and deepen one’s sense of connection.
* Gary Griggs, Our Ocean Backyard | A tribute to Phyllis Norris, the ‘Snake Lady’ by Gary Griggs. PUBLISHED: March 8, 2025—A heartfelt tribute from the Santa Cruz Sentinel about Phyllis Norris, whose life of curiosity, caregiving, and connection offers a powerful model for aging with resilience, purpose, and wonder.
Websites
Mayo Clinic Health Topics: Resiliency—Get resources on how to be resilient, which is the ability to recover quickly from difficult situations; adapt well to adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or even significant sources of stress; and demonstrate positive responsiveness to challenging events.
Greater Good Science Center (GGSC) – UC Berkeley – A research institute that explores well-being, resilience, and social connection. Their Greater Good Magazine and Science of Happiness Podcast cover topics like resilience, gratitude, mindfulness, and awe, while Greater Good in Action (GGIA) offers science-backed exercises to boost well-being. GGSC also provides online courses, educator resources, and professional training to support mental health.
Tallahasse Senior Foundation for Active Adults—A vital Senior Center community with many resources and offerings.
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- Resources Page
- Uplside Program—Promoting Social Engagement for Loneliness, Isolation and Depression in the Elderly
- FOOT Program (Fitness & Outdoor Opportunities Together) a partnership with Paddle Florida. A program that invites participants to “stay connected, stay healthy, stay fit” with awe-inspiring hikes, discovery of hidden gems, and unique adventures that take advantage Tallahassee’s beautiful year-round weather, well-maintained public parks, trails and open spaces, and wealth of expertise.
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Media
What life feels like at 101 – Betty Reid Soskin —This intimate documentary uncovers a little-known chapter in the life of 102-year-old Betty Reid Soskin—America’s oldest park ranger—revealing her early years as a groundbreaking singer/songwriter and the first Black woman to integrate a Bay Area suburb. With a voice reminiscent of Billie Holiday and the power of Nina Simone, Betty’s rediscovered music brings new depth to her legacy as a civil rights icon and cultural trailblazer.
Personal Recommendations from Our Guests
From Barbara:
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- Meditation
- Reading
- Exercise
- Visiting family
- Engage with people
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From Alice:
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- Regular sleep and naps, daily exercise and weekly Tai Chi practice with friends
- Eating a balanced diet with natural ingredients
- Weekly poetry group meeting
- Attending concerts, poetry readings, lectures, online travel tours
- Playing Wordle daily
- Taking notes about all of the above
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From Elliot
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- Five Essential Daily Practices:
- Qi Gong (first thing each morning)
- Journal Writing (each day at breakfast; includes writing poetry)
- Taking a Walk
- Telling my beloved that I love her
- Doing a random act of kindness
- Five Essential Daily Practices:
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- Zen practice: learning to live in the moment
- Living with a person I love
- Having close friends and being part of a community
- Reading poetry (Robinson Jeffers, Wendell Berry, Marge Piercy, Basho, et al)
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From Patrice
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- Keeping a journal to jot down whatever is mulling around in the heart and mind without thought to organization, logic, simply a way to disentangle and free ourselves.
- Getting outdoors for even a short walk or to sit and be amongst a bit of nature, to feel the sun, to see the world is larger than whatever the indoors may convince us of.
- To support both of the above, Recommended Read: Step into Nature (Vecchione, 2015)
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*Indicates a Monterey Bay Area resources
